Harry Potter and the Spiked Pumpkin
by msxmochi
Summary: This story has nothing to do with a spiked pumpkin. In fact, this short fan fic is about Harry and Draco complaining what they should wear for the Weasley's party. I didn't actually write this story. I got it from an e-mail and I thought it was funny!


Harry Potter and the Spiked Pumpkin Juice  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Harry Potter sat, bouncing happily on Draco Malfoy's bed.  
  
"Are you excited?" Harry asked, eagerly. "I'm excited."  
  
"Uh-huh," Draco said distractedly, looking through his wardrobe for something to wear.  
  
"I mean, it sounds really fun," Harry continued, unaware that Draco wasn't paying attention. "It's going to be so much fun!"  
  
"Hmm, yes," said Draco, pulling out a sweater and holding it up for Harry to see. "What about this one?"  
  
Harry shrugged. "It looks fine."  
  
"Can't you say something more helpful?" Draco demanded, throwing the sweater at Harry.  
  
Harry picked it up. "Well, it feels nice."  
  
"You're useless. Utterly useless."  
  
"I am not. I just don't care about what you wear."  
  
"Yes, but *I* care what I wear."  
  
"I don't see why it matters," Harry said, putting the sweater aside. "You could probably dress up as Tarzan and no one would care."  
  
"Tarzan?"  
  
"Guy who lives in the jungle, swings from vines, and wears a loincloth."  
  
"Okay, whatever."  
  
"It's a muggle thing."  
  
"Ah. Well, you see, that's all you really had to say. So anyway, do you know what *you're* wearing yet?"  
  
"Um. No..."  
  
"You haven't decided yet?"  
  
"Erm," said Harry, avoiding Draco's gaze. "Not exactly."  
  
Draco narrowed his eyes critically. "You haven't even thought about it, have you?" he asked, his tone accusatory.  
  
Harry immediately stopped bouncing on Draco's bed. "No," he admitted, looking at his feet guiltily. "I haven't."  
  
Draco frowned, annoyed. "Well then, that settles it," he said, pulling on his cloak.  
  
"Settles what?" Harry asked, genuinely confused.  
  
"We're going shopping," Draco said happily. "Come on, let's go."  
  
"Wha - but Draco, I don't like shopping!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"And the party is tonight!"  
  
"And?"  
  
"Whenever you go shopping it takes you forever to find something you like! We'll be late."  
  
"You know, Harry, I have a saying."  
  
"And that is...?"  
  
"It's better to be late and look extremely good than to be on time and just look okay."  
  
"That's not another Malfoy saying, is it?"  
  
"No. It's a Draco saying."  
  
Harry sighed. "And why do I have to come with you? You're perfectly capable of shopping on your own. And last time you made me go shopping with you it was only to make me hold your bags for you."  
  
"You have to come because I am going to buy something for you to wear as well."  
  
Harry frowned. "I don't need any new clothes."  
  
Draco snorted. "Have you seen any of what you own, Harry? Your clothes are absolutely hideous."  
  
"I like my clothes," Harry mumbled.  
  
"Yes, well, I don't. You need something *nice* to wear tonight, Harry."  
  
"But I already have dress robes!"  
  
"This is our graduation party, Harry, not the Yule Ball. You don't *wear* dress robes to a party."  
  
"There's nothing I can say to make you change your mind, is there?"  
  
"No."  
  
Harry sighed and stood up. "Fine," he said, looking at his watch. "We have four hours before we have to be at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes for the party."  
  
"Ooohhh," said Draco, clapping his hands together excitedly. "Four hours of shopping!"  
  
"That is NOT what I said, Draco!" Harry protested as the other boy grabbed his hand and lead him out of the room. "We have four hours before we have to *BE* there, not four hours to look for a cute outfit for you!"  
  
"I didn't say my outfit had to be *cute.* I think it should be *sexy.*"  
  
"What about a pair of leather trousers?" Harry suggested. "Leather is sexy."  
  
"Ugh, no," Draco said, dragging Harry along behind him. "Leather is so last season."  
  
"Oh," said Harry, disappointed. "Okay..."  
  
Draco sighed. "If I buy something leather will you stop pouting?"  
  
"But I thought you said -"  
  
"Not for the party," said Draco, smirking. "For *after* the party."  
  
"Oh," said Harry, catching on. "Well, okay!"  
  
"Good," said Draco. "Now hurry up. We need to get *you* something to wear, too."  
  
"Hey, Draco?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Well... besides the leather... could there maybe be..."  
  
"What, Harry?"  
  
"More jelly?"  
  
"What is it with you and jelly?"  
  
"I don't know, I just like it."  
  
"Fine, whatever. But you do realize that you owe me after this, don't you?"  
  
"Aren't we even? I get jelly and leather, you get shopping?"  
  
"No," said Draco. "You get jelly and leather, I get shopping and a leather whip."  
  
"What is with you and this dominatrix thing?"  
  
"I don't know," Draco said sarcastically, mimicking Harry's tone. "I just like it."  
  
"Fine," Harry said, pulling his hand out of Draco's. "But do you have any idea what you want to wear tonight?"  
  
"No," Draco said happily. "That's why we'll need the whole four hours."  
  
Harry groaned. Draco turned to him and smiled. "Oh, don't worry. We'll have time to find you something nice, too."  
  
"But Draco, why can't I just -"  
  
"No."  
  
"But I have -"  
  
"No, Harry."  
  
"But Draaaaaaaco -"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Gods," said Harry, frowning at his boyfriend. "You're such a bitch sometimes."  
  
"I know," said Draco, pouting. "I'm sorry."  
  
"You're just lucky you have such a nice arse or I wouldn't even bother with you."  
  
Draco sniffed.  
  
"What?" Harry demanded.  
  
"There's more to me than just my arse, Harry."  
  
"I know. There's your hair and your eyes and your -"  
  
"Oh, shut up," Draco said irritably. "Just for that I'm going to make you carry my shopping bags."  
  
"Aww," Harry said, groaning. "Not again."  
  
"And no lightening spells!"  
  
"But Draco -"  
  
"No!"  
  
"You bitch," Harry mumbled under his breath.  
  
"Stop complaining."  
  
Harry sniffed. "I hate shopping."  
  
"Well, I hate your friends, but I'm going to their stupid party."  
  
"But I thought you were excited about the party!?!"  
  
"No," Draco corrected. "I'm excited about buying a new outfit to wear to the party. I'm not excited about spending my night with you and your friends."  
  
"But Fred and George are hosting the party for everyone!"  
  
"It's still the Weasley's, Harry."  
  
"All four houses were invited! Even the Slytherins!"  
  
"Well of course *we* were invited. It's not a party without Slytherin."  
  
Harry snorted. "Sure, Draco. Whatever you say."  
  
"So anyway, did you have a particular flavor in mind?"  
  
"Flavor?"  
  
"For the jelly..."  
  
"Oh, yeah," said Harry. "Cherry."  
  
"Cherry?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Cherry flavored jelly and leather?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"And I get to shop? And you'll carry my bags?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay," Draco said. "You've got yourself a deal."  
  
"Good," said Harry. "But no whip. Okay?"  
  
"But Haaaarrryyyyyyyyy!"  
  
"No! That whip hurts!"  
  
"But I liiiiiiike it!"  
  
"Well I don't!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No, Draco."  
  
"Pleeeaaassseeee?!"  
  
"That stupid thing bruised me!"  
  
"Haaaarrryyyyyyyy!"  
  
"No! No, no, no!"  
  
"If I don't get my whip -"  
  
"Fine, I'll make you a deal!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"No whip. No, don't look at me like that. Never again."  
  
"So what's the deal?"  
  
"No whip. But I'll let you have something else..."  
  
"Chains?"  
  
"Maybe..."  
  
"Chains or no cherry jelly, Harry."  
  
"........"  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Fine. Deal."  
  
"Good," Draco said cheerfully. "Now about *you're* new outfit..." 


End file.
